The Seed Of Anderida…

seed

 

This little fella had only just broken through the surface one week ago, now he’s growing like crazy! Maybe it’s the company of the little basils next to him, or perhaps he just likes the music I’ve been playing him…

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Pointless Conversation…

Well, that was a waste of twenty-five minutes…

Welcome to Vodafone! You will now be connected with a service adviser. Your approximate wait time is 0 minute(s) and 1 seconds. . We’re looking forward to assisting you today.

You are now connected with Harsh.

Harsh: Hello, you’re chatting with Harsh, one of Vodafone’s online customer service specialists.  May I take your full name and mobile number please?

You: Yes, it’s Belinda Hirons and my mobile number is *************.

Harsh: Hello Belinda, how’s the day been so far?

You: Quiet! I’ve had no service on either my personal mobile nor my company mobile most of this afternoon and most of yesterday afternoon! They’re both on Vodafone…

Harsh: I empathize with your situation of not being able to avail Vodafone services.

You: Do you know if there’s an issue in the south-east of England?

Harsh: I’ll surely assist you with this issue and help you get resolved your query.

You: Ok….

Harsh: I’ll have to look in your account to be able to help you with that.

Harsh: In order to resolve your query I’ll need to verify your details for security purposes. Let me ask you a few questions in order to assist you.

Harsh: Would you be able to verify your method of payment, first line of address with the post code and your date of birth for security reasons?

You: Well, my company phone is registered to my boss, so they’re his details. I don’t know them.

You: All I need to know is if there is an issue with service in the South East of England…

Harsh: I can see that you are a business customer, hence what I can do for you is that I can call you and connect you to our dedicated business team who would help you with this.

Harsh: Shall I call you if you have any alternate number?

You: I don’t need the business service, I just need to know if there is an issue with service?

You: You can’t call me because I have no service…

Harsh: If you have any alternate number which I can call on?

You: I just have the two Vodafone mobiles

You: So I’m a bit cut-off right now

Harsh: I understand you situation and empathize with this situation.

You: So are there any outages in the South East of England at the moment, are you able to tell me or not?

Harsh: Please stay connected while I check this for you.

You: Thanks. 🙂

Harsh: Thank you for your patience.

Harsh: The post code that you provided has full network signal.

Harsh: As I haven’t checked the account details to see the service level, I would provide you with the troubleshooting steps.

Harsh: I would request you to perform the soft reset for your handset.

Harsh: Could you please help me with the handset make and model?

You: So why would I have no service on two independent mobile phones? One is an HTC, and one is an iPhone5.

You: I’ve already tried turning them off and on again…

Harsh: Have you tried removing SIM card from both the handsets?

You: No, but why would they both have the same problem at the same time?

Harsh: I do understand your concern and as I’ve informed you that without checking your account, I will not be able to comment on the service you are receiving.

Harsh: Hence, I request you to get in touch with our Business team.

Harsh: If you wish, I can connect you with our Business team right away.

You: And your business team will talk to me when I can’t provide any of the details for the phone account holder?

Harsh: I am sure, they will be able to help you on this further.

(Note: They won’t, I’ve tried this before, plus he’s already told me he can’t comment on an account when he doesn’t have the details!)

You: Okay then…

Harsh: May I take your alternate number on which I can call you?

You: I just told you I don’t have one….

You: Both Vodafone, both no service.

You: Can they not talk to me on Chat here?

Harsh: I am afraid, but they are available only on call. You can call them if this is better?

You: Okay, never mind then. I can’t call them because I have no phone service. But thanks.

Harsh: Your welcome.

Harsh: I hope I could have assist you today to resolve your concern.

Harsh: Thank you for contacting Vodafone Customer Services.

Harsh: Have a nice day and take care.

Harsh: Goodbye.

Rebel Brain…

I’ve always had a pretty good relationship with my brain. It helps me imagine and write creative stuff, play musical instruments, understand what Morgan Freeman’s talking about in his science shows, and dream crazy, laughable things (I mean, a few nights ago I dreamed that I was trying to round up an escaped talking llama, for Pete’s sake). Without its pin-point noticing and listening skills I wouldn’t be able to appreciate the world around me, let alone wave enthusiastically and say hello to it. I’m grateful that it knows how to spell, is capable of the odd witticism, and has strange little quirks that enable me to tune into people’s emotions, see ghost cats and the like. Generally, it’s a happy little brain.

Only in the past six months or so, I’ve also noticed that it’s started being a bit of a dick.

Among other things, it seems to have taken great delight in disabling the ‘off’ button. I’m sure there was one, but now whenever it’s deprived of visual stimuli my brain tends to clear off on its own merry little path of randomness. For example, last night as soon as I closed my eyes to sleep it dredged up parts of conversations I’d had that day, a list of essentials for camping, and the Powerpuff Girls theme. Needless to say, I couldn’t care less if Bubbles is the joy and the laughter when all I want to do is get some decent kip, but it’s something my brain thinks is vital to know at two in the morning.

Then there’s Important Things. My brain thinks it’s hilarious to easily remember these right up until the point where I actually need them, and then to suddenly block that part of my memory off from conscious access. Sometimes, if it’s feeling particularly bastardly, it’ll give me a glimpse of the details I need and then snatch them away again. It would probably be sticking its tongue out at the same time, if it had one.

And don’t even get me started on why the heck it deems it necessary to dig at my self-confidence by analysing the crap out of everything.

I can put up with it for the most part because I’d much rather have an overactive brain than an empty one, and I’m very appreciative of that. And it does give me somewhere to escape to. In my imagination I can do anything and go anywhere, whereas in real life I’m really nothing special. It’s obviously working properly, and you know what they say: if it ain’t broke…

So, Brain, what gives?

Perhaps it’s just that it’s become too full of useless information gathered over the years? If it were a computer I’d be able to clean it up, hide all the naughty stuff, move things to storage and generally have a good tidy round. But I don’t think that’s going to work here, mainly because it’s in charge and a tad rebellious. However, I think I may be able to get the unruly sod calmed down with some meditation techniques, preferably some directed ones to keep it under control. Something for me to look into, right?

But ssshh, don’t tell my brain. It might just be keeping me distracted while it takes over the world.

Peace out.