Daily Sayings

Daily Sayings

Something I’m usually forced to utter a few times a day, now with added Doctor.


The CD Cover Meme

Hey, it’s an oldie but a goodie; the CD Cover Meme! Mine’s above, but I want you to get creative and make your own…

I’ve made a few little tweaks to the process, so if you’d like to give it a try for yourself just follow the directions below:

1. Generate a name for your band by using WikiPedia’s Random Page Selector Tool – the first item that pops up  is going to be your band name, no matter how weird or lame it is. However, if you get the name of a real band or a person, you have my permission to click on ‘Random Article’ on the left of the page to generate a new one. Unless it would be really funny to use. It’s up to you…

You can also add the place your album was recorded live at by taking the first location you get on the same search. Mine’s a hospital – I’m not sure if my band were visiting it or resident to it, if I’m honest.

2. Generate an album title by cutting and pasting the last four words of the final quote on whichever page appears when you click on the Quotations Page‘s random quote selector tool. No matter what those words turn out to be.

3. Finally, visit Flickr’s Most Interesting page — a random selection of some of the interesting things discovered on Flickr within the last 7 days — and download the third picture on that page. If it’s one that doesn’t permit downloading, use the next available one that does. You have to use this picture no matter how you feel about it, but I’ll let you edit it or use a part of it if you want to. I’m nice like that.

4. Get your art on and, using Photoshop (or whatever method you prefer), put all of these elements together and create your very own CD cover. Please feel free to upload it and post a link to it here, so I can see!

What are you waiting for? Go!

Peace out…

Camping Tips From A Camp Virgin

Having spent last weekend camping solo for the first time ever, I thought I’d share some tips I picked up from the experience…

1. Tents should be set up according to their specifications. Slapping it together with a ‘that’ll do’ attitude will only result in it collapsing around your ears during the inevitable rain storm that will occur on the first night. Leftover tent poles are not a good thing. Guy lines should be set as close as possible to your tent; they should not be attached to another tent or passing camp-goers.

2. Keep an eye on your socks as they are mischievous and will try to make a break for it during the night. I found one of mine in the middle of the field one morning. I’m pretty sure I know how it got there, but I will be taking a sock-lock-box camping with me in the future, to keep the little bastards under control.

3. Should you find a large, leggy flying insect in your tent at any point, that insect will have instant claim over your temporary home until it either decides to leave of its own accord, or can be coaxed out by a much braver fellow camper.

4. Visitors should always be made welcome to your tent and offered every courtesy. This applies doubly if they bring presents or alcohol with them. If they are still there the next morning, you should offer them a cup of tea and both be quietly thankful that neither of you ate baked beans directly out of a can the night before.

5. Large, bright lanterns should never be waved around near the camp toilets at night, unless your key intention is to thoroughly embarrass the man who’s peeing into the hedge next to them.

6. Keep your clothes handy when you go to sleep. Even though you never, ever have to pee during the night while sleeping in your bed at home, camp rules state that your bladder will inevitably become full to bursting at 2.30 in the morning during a torrential downpour, no matter how many times you visited the facilities before you turned in.

7. A snoring camper can be made much more entertaining by attempting to whistle the 1812 Overture in time with their snores.

8. Don’t underestimate how freezing-ass cold camping can be at night. Hot water bottles, blankets, thick sleeping bags, heavy duty pyjamas, and compliant hot-blooded friends can all help you to stay warm and hypothermia-free. Picking a fight with a ram or a grumpy bovine can also warm you up enough for a good night’s sleep, but be sure to wear good running shoes.

9. Fit puffy sleeping bags and inflatable beds back into their miniscule storage bags by running them over with your car.

10. Take the time to lay on your back next to the camp fire and gaze up at the stars. You won’t regret it as there’s no light pollution in the countryside. If your back becomes hot, you’re laying in the fire; get up as soon as possible. If someone starts yelling at you, you might be inadvertently laying on their dinner/marshmallows/closest family member; be more careful. You’re only doing it right if your back becomes cold, muddy and damp. And the myriad of ants ranging through your underwear are just a bonus. Enjoy.

Please feel free to add your own…

Peace out.

Pointless Conversation…

Well, that was a waste of twenty-five minutes…

Welcome to Vodafone! You will now be connected with a service adviser. Your approximate wait time is 0 minute(s) and 1 seconds. . We’re looking forward to assisting you today.

You are now connected with Harsh.

Harsh: Hello, you’re chatting with Harsh, one of Vodafone’s online customer service specialists.  May I take your full name and mobile number please?

You: Yes, it’s Belinda Hirons and my mobile number is *************.

Harsh: Hello Belinda, how’s the day been so far?

You: Quiet! I’ve had no service on either my personal mobile nor my company mobile most of this afternoon and most of yesterday afternoon! They’re both on Vodafone…

Harsh: I empathize with your situation of not being able to avail Vodafone services.

You: Do you know if there’s an issue in the south-east of England?

Harsh: I’ll surely assist you with this issue and help you get resolved your query.

You: Ok….

Harsh: I’ll have to look in your account to be able to help you with that.

Harsh: In order to resolve your query I’ll need to verify your details for security purposes. Let me ask you a few questions in order to assist you.

Harsh: Would you be able to verify your method of payment, first line of address with the post code and your date of birth for security reasons?

You: Well, my company phone is registered to my boss, so they’re his details. I don’t know them.

You: All I need to know is if there is an issue with service in the South East of England…

Harsh: I can see that you are a business customer, hence what I can do for you is that I can call you and connect you to our dedicated business team who would help you with this.

Harsh: Shall I call you if you have any alternate number?

You: I don’t need the business service, I just need to know if there is an issue with service?

You: You can’t call me because I have no service…

Harsh: If you have any alternate number which I can call on?

You: I just have the two Vodafone mobiles

You: So I’m a bit cut-off right now

Harsh: I understand you situation and empathize with this situation.

You: So are there any outages in the South East of England at the moment, are you able to tell me or not?

Harsh: Please stay connected while I check this for you.

You: Thanks. 🙂

Harsh: Thank you for your patience.

Harsh: The post code that you provided has full network signal.

Harsh: As I haven’t checked the account details to see the service level, I would provide you with the troubleshooting steps.

Harsh: I would request you to perform the soft reset for your handset.

Harsh: Could you please help me with the handset make and model?

You: So why would I have no service on two independent mobile phones? One is an HTC, and one is an iPhone5.

You: I’ve already tried turning them off and on again…

Harsh: Have you tried removing SIM card from both the handsets?

You: No, but why would they both have the same problem at the same time?

Harsh: I do understand your concern and as I’ve informed you that without checking your account, I will not be able to comment on the service you are receiving.

Harsh: Hence, I request you to get in touch with our Business team.

Harsh: If you wish, I can connect you with our Business team right away.

You: And your business team will talk to me when I can’t provide any of the details for the phone account holder?

Harsh: I am sure, they will be able to help you on this further.

(Note: They won’t, I’ve tried this before, plus he’s already told me he can’t comment on an account when he doesn’t have the details!)

You: Okay then…

Harsh: May I take your alternate number on which I can call you?

You: I just told you I don’t have one….

You: Both Vodafone, both no service.

You: Can they not talk to me on Chat here?

Harsh: I am afraid, but they are available only on call. You can call them if this is better?

You: Okay, never mind then. I can’t call them because I have no phone service. But thanks.

Harsh: Your welcome.

Harsh: I hope I could have assist you today to resolve your concern.

Harsh: Thank you for contacting Vodafone Customer Services.

Harsh: Have a nice day and take care.

Harsh: Goodbye.